Oh, the depths of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgements and His ways past finding out! --Romans 11:33
This past weekend, we enjoyed Micah's third golf tournament. On the way there, we were reflecting on the past year. One year ago to the day of the tournament we were driving to Micah's first golf tournament. I was 38 weeks pregnant. We got a new car that same afternoon. It was a big day for us, and we were feeling great-excited about what was in store. We had no idea. What a gift that God doesn't give us a window into the future. I loved being at that golf tournament thinking everything was right in the world. I'm glad I didn't know I would have such a rough post-partum after Margot was born. I'm glad I didn't know how sick my first born would become just three months later. I couldn't have walked so carefree that morning, loving life, had I known.
On February 25 I drove Micah to the doctor and then to the hospital. He had been sick for a month and was taking a turn for the worst. He wouldn't come home for a month. I watched him get sicker literally by the hour and felt my life spinning out of control. I remember the day we had a turnaround and were allowed to put Micah in a wheelchair. We got to stroll him around the hospital. We bought him ice cream. I remember Matt and I thinking and saying "if this is the best we get-we are okay with that." They were telling us to expect a long recovery. Micah's inflammation was some of the most severe they had seen. No one knew if our child would walk again, let alone play golf. We were just so happy he was alive. The Lord is so good to us in that He works our trials for good. I would not be the mom I am today without this past year. I soak up every minute I can-life is fragile. I remember to be joyful even when I am so tired. I remember that one day I won't have these little people wanting my attention, and I relish in reading them one last chapter. I remember that babies get big-fast, and I relish that one last snuggle from my baby. I remember that life is hard, but life is such a gift, and I try not to take the small things for granted. His ways are not my own. I would not have chosen to walk the path I did this past year. But, I also likely would still be sulking in my own self pity of not getting enough "me time." I would not have chosen for my son to endure what he did, but I wouldn't have been able to see his faith grow, the Lord working in his little heart, the wide-eyed wonder my boys have of their Creator who heals diseases.
This weekend was amazing. Again we were loving life, walking around the golf course watching our miracle boy make one fantastic shot after another. He had a goal: shoot a 25. He made his goal and was so proud. His face was priceless when they called his name to receive his first place trophy. We had a wonderful day watching our son accomplish his goal. And you know what? I'm glad I don't have a window into the next 12 months. Oh Lord, deal gently with us.
Right before a great chip on his first hole of the tournament. This was his second shot, the video is below.
Calling his name for first place!
Owen, look what I won for us! Micah wants to keep the trophy on the dresser so they can both see it from their beds.
from Ginny Morrison on Vimeo./a&g