I Know, It's Been A While

I know it has been several weeks since my last post. Honestly, things have been busy. I have been healing- slowly but surely, our family has been and continues to grieve the loss of our baby, and we have had friends in town (a huge blessing as I had to have surgery, and they graciously helped out hugely around here-we love and miss you Costello family!) And to really be honest, it has been hard to open the blog and write. On one hand, I don't want to go on blogging about the trivial daily goings on, but on the other I do want to do something I love-keeping a record of our family in pictures and in words. It seems almost like betrayal to pick up where I left off like nothing has changed, and quite frankly dishonest. But at the same time, this blog's purpose is to document the boys and how they are changing so quickly. I don't want to forget a minute of my short time with them and this is a very tangible way for me to keep our memories safe. So, I want to let all my readers know that we are making it by the grace of the Lord. I am learning new things about myself everyday. I am sad, but trying to learn what it means to rejoice in our trials (if I figure that out, I will be sure to let you know). Not a day goes by that I don't wish I could just wake up from this nightmare and have my baby back, but I know that I am called to live the life that the Lord has given me. I know he will see us through this even though it seems like a part of me has died in the process. I long for the day we are reunited with our sweet baby in Heaven, but I will continue to press on while here on Earth. I am realizing how thankful I am for these two precious boys I have-what a blessing they are. And even though I am quite literally a hormonal wreck, and they can too easily get on my nerves these days, I know that I love them even more deeply because of this. I have also realized that I could quite possibly have the most wonderful husband on the face of the earth. He has cried and mourned with me, taken all things related to child rearing and house care post 5pm into his own hands after finishing long days of work to provide for us financially. He never has complained that sometimes I just can't get out of bed, and in fact urges me to go lay down and rest whenever he is home. He reassures me, loves me, comforts me, and I know that I too love him even more now than before. I tell you these things because there is good coming out of this. And even though I know God did not "do" this to us in order to teach us something, I know that he does promise us that good will come out of this bad and that we most assuredly will learn many things from this. It is comforting to me to see some of that good.

And now I thought I would simply post some of the pictures that have been on my camera since June and catch up a bit.

Most of the birthdays in the Morrison family are celebrated at La Hacienda Mexican restaurant. Funny, when Matt and I were dating, we used to laugh at how his family ate at the same Mexican restaurant every Friday night (though never complained as the food is delicious). Now, we also eat at a Mexican restaurant almost every Friday night! This particular time, we were celebrating Micah's birthday. Mexican queso could quite possibly be his favorite food. He was a little surprised when a birthday flan came to him, and a server put whipped cream on his nose. After a quick save and reassurance from Matt, he realized this was a joke and funny!

Micah's beloved golf clubs. The look on his face was priceless when we gave him his birthday present. He plays golf almost all day long and has developed a pretty good swing!

Owen with our niece, nephew, and Matt's sister, Maggie at the zoo. My mother-in-law was so kind to invite us on many fun outings the week after finding out our sad news. It was nice to be with family and stay busy, and the boys loved it.

This is one of my basil plants that I worked hard on this spring. I love fresh herbs, but tend to have a black thumb. I was proud of this beauty. It gave us lots of yummy pesto and flavored many a sandwich and salad.

Owen has picked up a love of jumping from his crazy jumping brother. These two can be seen at any given point in the day jumping off various items in the house. Thankfully, they are both cautious enough to know when something is too high.

And the only picture I have from our visit with the Costello family. They stayed with us on their way to Texas from Pennsylvania. It was so nice to see them reunited as a family again (Drew recently got home from Iraq where he served for a year.) We were so happy to spend time with them, and we were sure glad to have their help when I unexpectedly had to have surgery. We are greatly indebted to them for all their childcare, housework, and errand running. The kids behaved wonderfully. Four children four and under could certainly go the other way, so we were proud of them. Here the boys are vegging out to a little "dump truck movie." Owen loves the treat of a Mighty Machines video, but doesn't like to watch them solo. He was so glad to have Riley to enjoy it with him.

And last but not least, some more golf photos. One night, we all decided to go to the golf course. With three little ones with no interest in playing golf, I think we had a successful time. I mostly just took some adorable photos of Owen because he was being especially compliant and looking so darn handsome. This last one is funny because Owen grabs his shorts like this all the time. We often ask if he needs to go potty, and he just stares at us like "no, why do you keep asking me that?" I guess his shorts just aren't that comfortable. Unfortunately, so many "would be adorable photos" picture him adjusting his shorts!

We are packing up and heading to Perdido Key for a much needed beach vacation. Matt's parents offered to take us with them, and we are so thankful and excited to get out of town for a little while. I'm sure I'll be back next week with countless photos from the gulf. Oh, we can't wait for some oysters and other seafood, margaritas on the deck, and beautiful white sandy beaches! Hope they allow for golfing on the beach-Micah isn't much one for sand ;)