Long Day

Wow has it been a day. These boys,whether it is me and my non-patient pregnant self, or them and their disobeying, viper in diaper selves, (just for the record I am sure it is me and my non-patient self, and I am of course referring to my children with tongue-in cheek) have pushed me to my limits today. I just love them to death, but lately am discouraged and disappointed in their behavior. How do you love your children unconditionally, treat them with true grace, and teach them to obey at the same time. I find myself either being the nice guy who gets no respect or being the mother who has completely lost control and deserves no respect. I want so desperately for my children to obey. I get deeply saddened when they don't, and often can't imagine what on earth is wrong with them that they could look me in the eye and do exactly what I just finished disciplining them for. And then I remember-sin- that is what is wrong with them. I find myself desperately praying for the Lord's intervention because I can teach my children nothing apart from his help. They, just like me, want to do things their own way on their own terms. I want to prick their little hearts with my words and His so that they will flee from sin, but I often can say nothing because I can't get them to stop giggling or disobeying for two seconds to listen to me. I then start fuming, my ears start turning red, I can't breath, I want someone to come rescue me for 30 min. so I can take a cold shower. Then, with tear stained cheeks, I run to Jesus and beg his mercy and wonder how on earth people do this job, and why on earth the Lord would give me another child I so clearly do not deserve. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day, and perhaps it won't. Thankfully, as these words from the hymn, Praise, My Soul, the King of Heaven, say: the Lord is slow to anger, deals with us gently, and is the same on the good days and bad. Now may he grant me, through his spirit, some of those attributes.

Praise, my soul, the King of heaven;
to his feet thy tribute bring;
ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven,
evermore his praises sing:
Alleluia, alleluia!
Praise the everlasting King.

Praise him for his grace and favor
to our fathers in distress;
praise him still the same for ever,
slow to chide and swift to bless:
Alleluia, alleluia!
Glorious in his faithfulness.

Father-like, he tends and spares us;
well our feeble frame he knows;
in his hand he gently bears us,
rescues us from all our foes.
Alleluia, alleluia!
Widely yet his mercy flows.

Angels, help us to adore him;
ye behold him face to face;
sun and moon, bow down before him,
dwellers all in time and space.
Alleluia, alleluia!
Praise with us the God of grace.