Numb

So... we have suffered a major setback. This "stomach bug" has really kept Micah off his feet. Combine that with some severe muscle wasting from the steroids, and we are back where we were two weeks ago-taking a few steps and climbing a few stairs with help. It is discouraging to see and hard to stay hopeful. Micah says his tummy hurts so bad. His prayer request every night is that God will heal his tummy. It is possible that the steroids are causing an ulcer, or it could just be hurting from whatever is causing all the vomiting and diarrhea. Please pray that we could get over this hump and that his stomach would settle down. I cringe every time he has to take that steroid. I know it is what is keeping us from having rebound inflammation, but it is also what is causing all these horrible side effects.

I called in many reinforcements last week as Matt went back to work. Taking care of Micah with all the tummy issues has proven to be quite a job. Matt's family helped throughout the week, and I called my mom on Thursday to come help. We are so thankful that everyone has been so willing to sacrifice and help us. The hardest part for me is watching everything and being here by myself-my mind starts racing and I am faced with making decisions that I don't know how to make: Is it time to go to the doctor, does he need to be back in the hospital, am I feeding him the right things etc. etc. Having someone here is calming for me and frankly, just necessary.

People say "I don't know how you are doing it." It is by God's grace alone I tell you. I don't know how I am doing it either. I tend to numb myself up before I go care for Micah. If I don't, then I will breakdown and that is not helpful for anyone. I wake up in the morning, ask the Lord for help, and I care for my children-just like I did before all this. It is different in so many ways, but in so many ways it is the same. We get dressed, eat, and play-it just takes a little longer and looks a little different. We are trying to take things one day at a time. Right now, thinking about the future is painful. Scripture tells us "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."-Matthew 6:34.

Even though our souls are troubled, we will praise the Lord and wait on him.

Wait for the Lord;

Be strong, and let your heart take courage;

Yes, wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27: 14