A Hard Day

First, our dear friends, can I please tell you that your comments, e-mails, texts, messages, etc. mean the world to us. We love to hear from you! We obviously have not the time or strength to respond to most of them, but we are receiving them and they are encouraging us. Also, I know I said we are ready for visitors. We are, but please know that there is only a small part of the day that we are without doctors and that we need to care for our son first and foremost. We are pleasers by nature and it is hard for us to say no, but if we do-it is because we are looking out for Micah at that point. He is very introverted and gets stressed at home when he is well with lots of visitors. Physical therapy recommended that we keep him as soothed and calm as possible so one or two extra people in the room is plenty. He also needs time with mama and dada's full attention. He is a needy child when not sick. It might mean that one of us takes a walk with you and lets Micah rest with the other. I know you all understand.

Okay, now that I feel like I won't hurt feelings if I ask you to wait for another time :) :

Micah had a rough day. He was a worse than yesterday and that is hard to see. I saw glimpses of my Micah yesterday and today I got moans and blank stares. He looks terrified every time a doctor walks in the room. I don't want him to be scared. I long to scoop my baby into my lap and rock him and love on him. Today, I had to sit next to him most of the day and try to get him to unclench his muscles. He was extremely stiff and couldn't unclench his jaw. I only got one word the whole day and that was a "yes" to him wanting to sit up. He wants to be better so much. He can't play his game any more, so I played it for him. I am brokenhearted. I don't sleep in a bed with my husband, I don't have all my children at home with me, my sweet baby is going through hell, and I am angry. I am angry that I know God could heal him in an instant and He's not, I am angry that Satan is telling me lies that God doesn't love us anymore and that he doesn't care, and that He is hurting my baby for no reason, I'm angry that I get to see my other son for about 10 minutes a day, I'm angry that there is no improvement. Basically, today I am just angry. Please pray for perseverance. We are growing weary. Continue to clothe us in Scripture-we need it, and it is hard to find time to sit with our Bibles.

Oh, my sweet Micah,

I know one day soon you are going to be rejoicing with us in awe at your healing. You have such a mature faith for such a young boy, and I can't wait to see what the Lord does with you. We love you so much. I told many today that my love for you must have quadrupled in the last few days. I will never look at you the same again. You are such a treasure, and we love you more than you will ever know. Dr. Mukundan thinks you will write the book on ADEM one day!

Before the throne of God above

I have a strong and perfect plea.

A great high Priest whose Name is Love

Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on His hands,

My name is written on His heart.

I know that while in heaven He stands

No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within,

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end of all my sin.

Because the sinless Savior died

My sinful soul is counted free.

For God the just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there the risen Lamb,

My perfect spotless righteousness,

The great unchangeable I AM,

King of glory and of grace,

One in Himself I cannot die.

My soul is purchased by His blood,

My life is hid with Christ on high,

With Christ my Savior and my God!